Sometimes I really wish I was different.

i wish i was faster and smarter and better.

i wish i was thinner and more toned and had better skin.

i wish i knew i had it in me to be the best - and not that i am just aspiring to be the best but maybe my dreams will never come true.

i wish i was efficient.

i wish i knew how to be cut-throat and competitive and fearless.

and then i remember how wonderful my life is and i hate myself for wishing for so much when i already have so much.

i wish i was inspiring and bold and brilliant.

i wish i was loved. really and truly loved.

i wish i could hug someone all day, and they would never let go.

i just really wish i was different sometimes. a better version of me. everything i am, plus extra things that i really wish i had.

...

I had a really bad day today.